A Conversation With Walid Ben

About a week ago, I was minding my own business, when my Skype rang. Someone named "Walid Ben" wanted to talk to me. I know a Ben, and thought it might be him, so I answered. Upon hearing a foreign accent I quickly hung up and thus began a rather bizarre exchange. My dialog is blue and his is red, with my comments in black. I think it is a little amusing, don't expect any deep message, just two people who can barely understand each other arguing religion and politics.

[5:37:05 PM] Edward says: who are you?
[5:37:51 PM] walid ben says: i am algerian
[5:38:06 PM] Edward says: ok
[5:39:07 PM] Edward says: why are you contacting me?
[5:39:15 PM] Edward says: I don't know anyone in algeria
[5:39:54 PM] walid ben says: why
[5:41:14 PM] walid ben says: call me please
[5:41:23 PM] Edward says: why?
[5:42:02 PM] walid ben says: help me to learn your language
[5:42:22 PM] Edward says: we can do that through this
[5:42:47 PM] Edward says: I'm not accepting calls from people I don't know
[5:43:43 PM] walid ben says: you are not a good men (ouch, burn!)
[5:43:55 PM] Edward says: it's "man"
[5:43:59 PM] Edward says: "men" is plural
[5:44:14 PM] Edward says: one male person is a "man"
[5:44:20 PM] Edward says: two male people are "men"
[5:44:47 PM] walid ben says: i thank you for this information
[5:44:53 PM] Edward says: anytime
[5:45:30 PM] Edward says: I am an English teacher
[5:45:56 PM] Edward says: so I'm pretty much used to this kind of stuff
[5:46:31 PM] walid ben says: je ne peux pas vous parler en englais
[5:46:42 PM] Edward says: I don't speak any French
[5:46:53 PM] Edward says: I only know English, German, and Greek
[5:47:14 PM] Edward says: and a little Klingon (if Walid can call me a "not good men", then I should be allowed to have a little fun)
[5:47:20 PM] walid ben says: you speak arabic
[5:47:25 PM] Edward says: ah, no
[5:47:34 PM] Edward says: that is a rather uncommon language in America
[5:47:51 PM] Edward says: I only know the very basics
[5:48:01 PM] Edward says: "al" is "the" and whatnot
[5:48:09 PM] walid ben says: why arabic is nice language
[5:48:26 PM] Edward says: It is also completely foreign to America
[5:48:51 PM] Edward says: Klingon is a nice language but I doubt many Algerians speak it
[5:49:03 PM] Edward says: as is Koine Greek
[5:49:52 PM] Edward says: are you Muslim?
[5:50:02 PM] walid ben says: ??? ?????? ???
[5:50:20 PM] walid ben says: yes
[5:50:22 PM] Edward says: I can't read that
[5:50:36 PM] Edward says: that's interesting, I just took a class about Islam
[5:50:59 PM] walid ben says: you can speak frensh
[5:51:34 PM] Edward says: Nein, aber ich kann Deutsch spreche
[5:52:04 PM] walid ben says: what is this
[5:52:07 PM] Edward says: German
[5:52:45 PM] walid ben says: are you speaking german
[5:52:59 PM] Edward says: yes, just like you are speaking arabic
[5:53:21 PM] walid ben says: and frensh
[5:53:59 PM] Edward says: joH'a' ghaH wIj DevwI'
jIH DIchDaq Hutlh pagh
ghaH chen jIH Qot bIng Daq SuD tI yotlh
ghaH Dev jIH retlh vIHHa' bIQmey
(incidently, this is Psalms 23 in Klingon that I just copy and pasted in)
[5:54:15 PM] Edward says: That is Klingon
[5:54:46 PM] Edward says: Languages are fun
[5:54:50 PM] walid ben says: you are loud in german (Walid can't tell the difference between German and Klingon)
[5:55:22 PM] Edward says: German is a great language
[5:55:34 PM] Edward says: Better when spoken loudly
[5:55:46 PM] walid ben says: speak me by frensh please (man, Walid is demanding!)
[5:55:54 PM] Edward says: I don't speak french
[5:56:06 PM] Edward says: I have friends who study french
[5:56:24 PM] Edward says: but I never had the desire
[5:56:49 PM] Edward says: Je ne parle pas français
[5:56:55 PM] walid ben says: you want to learn it
[5:57:08 PM] Edward says: traduit par le biais de Google
[5:57:17 PM] Edward says: pas vraiment
[5:57:40 PM] walid ben says: why
[5:57:46 PM] Edward says: Pas une langue que j'ai une grande utilité pour
[5:58:38 PM] Edward says: Je préfère apprendre le latin ou coréen
[5:58:42 PM] walid ben says: you like bush
[5:58:52 PM] Edward says: Bush is ok
[5:58:58 PM] Edward says: I voted for him
[5:59:03 PM] Edward says: he could do better
[5:59:28 PM] Edward says: but I would prefer him to the competition
[5:59:31 PM] walid ben says: il est criminel de guerre (means "he is a war criminal")
[5:59:51 PM] Edward says: I don't need a translator to know what that said
[6:00:16 PM] Edward says: Why do you believe him to be a criminal?
[6:00:33 PM] Edward says: Bush has done nothing to offend Algeria
[6:01:16 PM] walid ben says: irak is our frether
[6:01:36 PM] Edward says: Saudi Arabia colonized Algeria
[6:01:52 PM] walid ben says: no
[6:02:29 PM] Edward says: The Arabs brought Islam to the Persian empire
[6:02:37 PM] Edward says: the Persian Empire was Iraq
[6:03:31 PM] Edward says: I don't know which of these two brought Islam to Algeria
[6:03:45 PM] Edward says: but the progenitor was Mecca, not Baghdad
[6:04:02 PM] Edward says: in any case, it belonged to the Byzantines before that
[6:04:03 PM] walid ben says: iran is nucleare state you can't do anything it
[6:04:17 PM] Edward says: I'm scared
[6:04:24 PM] Edward says: I don't want Iran to nuke us!
[6:04:40 PM] Edward says: We don't have any way to retaliate!
[6:04:43 PM] Edward says: boohoo
[6:05:25 PM] Edward says: Besides, Iran is Shia (and I knew that Algeria is Sunni, so I was perplexed as to why he believed Iran to be their savior)
[6:05:43 PM] walid ben says: you want to visite algeria
[6:05:51 PM] Edward says: Not especially
[6:07:28 PM] walid ben says: je suis un ingénieur en chimie et vous (Walid had just informed me that he is a chemical engineer. )
[6:07:56 PM] Edward says: I study english and religion
[6:07:58 PM] Edward says: I am a teacher
[6:09:03 PM] walid ben says: tu veut ètre musliman
[6:09:22 PM] Edward says: can you say that in english?
[6:10:54 PM] walid ben says: you want to be a muslim
[6:11:00 PM] Edward says: no
[6:11:03 PM] Edward says: I am a Christian
[6:11:06 PM] walid ben says: why
[6:11:23 PM] Edward says: because I believe Jesus was the Son of God
[6:11:36 PM] Edward says: and I do not believe in Mohammud
[6:12:20 PM] Edward says: I have studyed the Quran
[6:12:33 PM] Edward says: It is a fascinating book
[6:12:48 PM] Edward says: but I do not believe it be the word of God
[6:13:18 PM] walid ben says: we are believing in moussa and ..... (I googled Moussa, apparently he's the secretary general of the league of Arab states...I haven't a clue what he meant by the ellipsis)
[6:14:47 PM] walid ben says: what is fascinating in frensh
[6:15:44 PM] Edward says: The french themselves are pretty fascinating
[6:17:29 PM] walid ben says: the quran is very a good book
[6:17:36 PM] Edward says: It is poetic
[6:17:40 PM] Edward says: I have read a lot of it
[6:18:02 PM] walid ben says: have you one
[6:18:08 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:18:14 PM] Edward says: and a book of Mormon
[6:18:19 PM] Edward says: and Hindu scriptures
[6:18:24 PM] Edward says: Like I said, I study religions
[6:18:35 PM] walid ben says: garde it (en garde!)
[6:19:02 PM] Edward says: I respect it because it is an important book to many people
[6:19:29 PM] Edward says: But there are parts I do not think a good person should follow
[6:20:05 PM] Edward says: I don't think a man should beat his wife under any circumstances

(I have indeed completed a course on Islam, and found some very disturbing things. The condonement of wife-beating as punishment for a disrespectful wife being chief among them)

(this is a real verse from the Quran: Men are the managers of the affairs of women for that God has preferred in bounty one of them over another, and for that they have expended of their property. Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God's guarding. And those you fear may be rebellious admonish; banish them to their couches, and beat them. If they then obey you, look not for any way against them; God is All high, All great. )

(even more disturbing are stories from the Hadith, or the "Life of Mohammad." such as this:
"A woman came to Muhammad and begged her to stop her husband from beating her. Her skin was bruised so badly that it was greener than the green veil she was wearing. Muhammad did not admonish her husband, but instead ordered her to return to him and submit to his sexual desires.")

(I'm quite happy that no one can accuse the head of my religion of being a wife-beating pedophile, but Walid changes the subject)


[6:20:34 PM] walid ben says: open your skype
[6:20:44 PM] Edward says: skype is open
[6:20:56 PM] Edward says: we're talking through it right now
[6:21:29 PM] walid ben says: skype is open just for messages
[6:21:41 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:21:49 PM] Edward says: It will stay that way ( I really don't want to talk to Walid)
[6:22:15 PM] Edward says: your english skills aren't speech ready yet anyway
[6:22:21 PM] walid ben says: i want to speak you
[6:22:23 PM] Edward says: better keep with the written
[6:24:22 PM] walid ben says: dans quelle willaya habitez-vous
[6:25:04 PM] Edward says: How do I live?
[6:25:12 PM] Edward says: I don't understand the question
[6:25:35 PM] walid ben says: translate it
[6:25:44 PM] Edward says: I did
[6:25:57 PM] Edward says: "willaya" isn't in google's dictionary
[6:26:30 PM] walid ben says: willaya = country
[6:26:54 PM] Edward says: I live in America
[6:27:03 PM] Edward says: I was born here
[6:27:37 PM] walid ben says: now have you interstood
[6:27:44 PM] Edward says: yay!
[6:27:54 PM] Edward says: I interstand!
[6:28:03 PM] Edward says: "interstand" isn't a word
[6:28:07 PM] Edward says: you need
[6:28:10 PM] Edward says: "understand"
[6:29:04 PM] walid ben says: this is not an grand error
[6:29:17 PM] Edward says: no
[6:29:25 PM] Edward says: but the average american would laugh at you
[6:30:16 PM] walid ben says: you like iran president (seriously, does Walid expect me to like him?)
[6:30:23 PM] Edward says: No
[6:30:31 PM] walid ben says: why
[6:30:33 PM] Edward says: I have nothing against Iran (I mean the Iranian people-their government is a tad whacked)
[6:30:41 PM] Edward says: but I am a friend of Israel
[6:31:21 PM] walid ben says: and algeria
[6:31:31 PM] Edward says: yeah, I have nothing against Algeria
[6:32:19 PM] walid ben says: sadam
[6:32:24 PM] Edward says: no
[6:33:24 PM] Edward says: he commited Genocide agaisnt the kurds
[6:34:24 PM] walid ben says: i have'nt understood anything
[6:34:28 PM] Edward says: sorry
[6:34:51 PM] Edward says: il a commis le génocide CONTRE Les Kurdes
[6:35:34 PM] Edward says: Il a été meurtrier de masse
[6:36:23 PM] walid ben says: you can to say it me in arabic
[6:36:46 PM] Edward says: I'm sorry
[6:36:52 PM] Edward says: Google can't do that
[6:37:03 PM] Edward says: ???? ?????? ???????
[6:37:06 PM] Edward says: I guess it can
[6:37:07 PM] walid ben says: always you are sorry
[6:37:16 PM] Edward says: ok
[6:37:23 PM] Edward says: I will be more rude in the future
[6:38:32 PM] walid ben says: have you friends in algeria
[6:38:36 PM] Edward says: no
[6:38:51 PM] Edward says: I have friends in Italy and Korea
[6:38:54 PM] Edward says: but not Algeria
[6:38:55 PM] walid ben says: tu ment ( I have no idea what this means)
[6:39:20 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:39:24 PM] walid ben says: i am your friend
[6:39:47 PM] Edward says: thank you
[6:40:12 PM] walid ben says: help you to learn arabic
[6:40:37 PM] Edward says: better start with the alphabet
[6:41:40 PM] walid ben says: this need of pronouncing
[6:42:03 PM] Edward says: I don't really need to learn Arabic right now
[6:42:43 PM] walid ben says: german
[6:42:59 PM] Edward says: I took a class in german, yes
[6:43:13 PM] Edward says: to better my understanding of English
[6:43:49 PM] walid ben says: yes
[6:45:37 PM] walid ben says: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb (I have no idea what this is all about...)
[6:45:50 PM] Edward says: (bow)
[6:46:00 PM] walid ben says: rtetyyurghghjghbcdr (Walid seems to have melted down)
[6:46:37 PM] Edward says: pretty much
[6:46:42 PM] Edward says: such wisdom
[6:46:51 PM] walid ben says: this is a confidential language
[6:46:59 PM] Edward says: really?
[6:47:05 PM] Edward says: Like hexadecimal?
[6:47:18 PM] Edward says: or Pig-Latin?
[6:47:36 PM] walid ben says: the second
[6:48:04 PM] Edward says: ok
[6:48:06 PM] Edward says: fun
[6:49:06 PM] Edward says: Well, Mr Walid, I am sorry to leave you
[6:49:12 PM] Edward says: but I must eat supper now
[6:49:16 PM] Edward says: good bye
[6:49:21 PM] Edward says: good luck learning english
[6:50:37 PM] walid ben says: I'm slyping good night

And thus concludes my conversation with Walid Ben. I don't have any great spiritual lessons for you right now, but promise to post a real devotional by the end of the week. My past few weeks were busy while I tried to get my Korean papers in order, but this week has pretty much nothing going on. So I'll get SOMETHING new posted....