Calvin & Hobbes & Qohelet

"I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind. Ecclesiastes 1:14"

(click on the comic to read it more clearly)

I don't know if Bill Watterson had Ecclesiastes in mind when he penned this particular comic, but it's what sprang into my mind when I read it. Ecclesiastes (a word I consistently forget how to spell) is one of my favorite books of the Old Testament. I like it because it's an incredibly honest book, that deals with questions most people have at one point or another.

For example, what is the meaning of life? In my level six class, one of the conversation topics was just that. "What is the meaning of life?" My students were less than thrilled about the prospect of having to discuss this and instead asked "Teacher! Can we talk about cameras instead?"

We can't really avoid the question though. At one point, we all sit and ponder like the snowman in Watterson's strip. We all realize that death will one day grab us all, so what should we do in order to derive as much meaning from life as we can before the sun melts us?

Hopefully, not by pursuing material possessions, like Watterson sarcastically suggests via Calvin. Sure, we could all go out and buy big screen TV's, but somehow I doubt that can provide a meaningful existence for very long.

My astute and good looking readers may recall the blog entry from two months ago. If you don't, I'll provide an ultra condensed summary:

"ANGST. ANGST. Moses."

Basically, I was discouraged and unsure of my decision to stay in Korea an extended four months. Even though I felt God leading me to stay, I was still unsure and anxious.

I realize now that part of the reason I had become discouraged was because some of my priorities were not in order. I had allowed my personal goals and dreams to cloud my judgment, and even seeing clearly what was the right choice, I still wanted to follow what felt like a better choice at the time.

Since that time, I have come to be glad that I stayed. Sure, it hasn't always been easy here, but when I look at the students and the friends I've been able to help by being here, that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to had I left, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad that I didn't run home with my tail (Run Tails, run?)between my legs when things got a little hard. I'm thankful God gave me the clarity of mind to decide to stay regardless of what my feelings had to say.

And that brings us back to Ecclesiastes (thank you Mr. Firefox spellchecker). The author of Ecclesiastes is unknown. Tradition states that it was King Solomon, but that seems all but impossible given the linguistic makeup of the book. The author refers to himself only as "Qohelet", a Hebrew title meaning "Speaker."

Qohelet laments the emptiness living a life of worldly pleasure has left him. He observes that no matter how much a man works or acquires, in death that is meaningless. He makes many profound observations, about the stupidity of a life spent alone, about the need for balance in all things, and the injustice of watching the wicked prosper. Finally, he concludes by saying:

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Qohelet realizes that the only way to find true meaning in a finite life is to serve an infinite God. We can't let anything get in the way of doing his will...not dreams, not friends. Not even family, as hard as that one is for me to swallow. Christ must go first. The satisfaction of knowing that you're doing His will is better than chasing my dreams any day.

Moses' Attitude

Moses' Attitude

This is assured to be one of my less funny and less happy blog posts. And I've written about near apocalypses.

Anyway, I've been in Korea for two months now. I was supposed to be going home a week from now. But I'm not.

Nope, now I'm here until December. I'll be home just in time for Christmas. I turned in my recently signed extension contract and dropped my classes with my university- so I am well past the point of no return.

The kicker is this was incredibly hard for me to do. I didn't really want to do it.

To be wholly honest, the past two months have been the hardest I've faced in recent memory. Not because of Korea, not at all. I enjoy teaching here and living here isn't so bad.

But while I've been here I have had to deal with the loss of something indescribably important to me. And it's left me hollow inside. I mean, I have dreams in my life---and this is the one that has mattered more than any other. There are things I'd like to do in life, and there are things I have to do. This is the one thing I have to do, the thing I feel God has put me on this Earth to do.

To use metaphors, right now I'm feeling like a pilot who will never fly- like a chef who will never step foot in a kitchen- like a fire fighter who can't stop his house from burning down.

I know the situation isn't as hopeless as that, but it sure feels that way.

And while my apparent loss by no means precludes my dream of coming true, it makes things incredibly uncertain. I no longer know what to do in order to make it come true.

To use another metaphor, if I was a man lost in a forest, and my one and only dream was to find the path that would lead me out, I've been running down different paths and finding dead ends for a long time now.

But I found one path that looked like it could be the way out- and I'd been walking down it for a long time, seeing sign after sign that seemed to say that the path I was on would take me out of the forest, enough that I truly believed I'd be getting out soon. Then suddenly this path, the best path I'd ever been on, dead-ended. So I stand alone in the forest, once again lost, and now intensely disappointed and unsure if there even IS an exit.

What does this have to with staying in Korea? Well, first of all, I do like teaching here. Korea itself has been great so far and I'm not really ready to leave it yet...but at the same time, I know I can't pursue my dream here. So I desperately (and selfishly) wanted to back home and do whatever I could to find a way to get back on making MY dreams come true. Besides, emotionally, it would be easier to be at home where my family is rather than mostly alone out here in Korea.

I mean, today was my mother's birthday, and so my parents set up the web cam and I sang Happy Birthday to her over the internet. But I had to hang up when it came time to eat cake...and for the first time since arriving here I became exceedingly homesick. I'll be missing my brother's birthday too, and for the fifth year in a row I'll be away from home on mine.

Normally this hasn't bothered me as much, but I guess with all that's gone on recently it's just hard to feel like you're 12,000 miles away from the only people who care about you.

All that said, why in the world am I still here? I don't have to be. But even though it may not really be what I want, I can say without a doubt that it is what God wants. I can see him using me here and it seems I am doing good. Lots of prayer has gone into this and that much is clear.

So I choose to be like Moses.

Moses did not want to go to Egypt, at all. When God told him to go, Moses argued with him for about a chapter and a half. After God soundly beat down every logical objection to going, and Moses couldn't think of any other thing to complain about, he was forced to cry out: "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."(Exodus 4:13)

That's an all to easy excuse to make...just let somebody else do it. But it's incredibly wrong. God didn't call someone else, he called Moses, because Moses was the right person for the job. And right now, he's calling me to stay in Korea for four more months. Who am I to argue?

Indeed, Moses probably drug his feet all the way to Egypt. But God had made it pretty clear that that was where he should be. So he went.

In this world there is right and there is wrong...and that distinction, with God's help, is not difficult to make.

I am reminded of the things I said in this blog more than a year ago. If I have to put my dream on hold, so be it. It isn't always easy to do what is right, but it is necessary. After I turned in my contract I felt good knowing that I did the right thing. Had I done otherwise, I'd probably feel a little like Jonah, except on an airplane instead of a boat.

So as hard as it was to do, I'm staying in Korea. These will be an interesting four months indeed.

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. - Matthew 7:13

Hippocleides Doesn't Care

Right, so I was reading Herodotus the other day and I discovered this most fascinating story of awesome. The ending had me in fits of laughter, and it isn't everyday that something written 2500 years ago can do that.

Granted, it might just be me...but I think it's worth sharing :)
Besides, the Olympics are going on, and it's an Olympic story, sooo....

The buildup is a little long but the pay off at the end is worth it...

Cleisthenes, the son of Aristonymus, grandson of Myron, and great-grandson of Andreas, had a daughter, Agarista, whom he wished to marry to the best man in all Greece. So during the Olympic games, in which he had himself won the chariot race, he had a public announcement made, to the effect that any Greek who thought himself good enough to become Cleisthenes' son-in-law should present himself in Sicyon within sixty days - or sooner if he wished - because he intended, within the year following the sixtieth day, to betroth his daughter to her future husband. Cleisthenes had had a race-track and a wrestling-ring specially made for his purpose, and presently the suitors began to arrive - every man of Greek nationality who had something to be proud of either in his country or in himself. From Sybaris in Italy, then at the height of its prosperity, came Smindyrides the son of Hippocrates, a man noted above all others for delicate and luxurious living, and from Siris, also in Italy, came Damasus the son of Amyris who was nicknamed the Wise. Then there was Amphimnestus, the son of Epistrophus, from Epidamnus on the Ionian Gulf, and Males from Aetolia - Males, the brother of Titormus who was the strongest man in Greece and went to live in the remotest part of Aetolia to avoid living with other human beings. From the Peloponnese came Leocedes the son of Pheidon, who was tyrant of Argos and the man who brought in the system of weights and measures for the Peloponnese - and also turned out the Eleans whose duty it was to manage the Olympic games and proceeded to manage them himself - the wickedest and most arrogant thing ever done by a Greek. Next there was Amiantus, the son of Lycurgus, from Trapezus in Arcadia, and Laphanes, an Azanian from Paeus, whose father Euphorion, the story goes, received Castor and Pollux under his own roof and afterwards kept open house for all comers; and then Onomastus of Elis, the son of Agaeus. From Athens there were two: Megacles, whose father Alcmaeon visited the court of Croesus, and Tisander's son Hippocleides, the wealthiest and best-looking man in Athens. Euboea provided but a single suitor, Lysanias from Eretria, which at that time was at the height of its prosperity; then there was a Thessalian, Diactorides, one of the Scopodae, from Crannon, and, lastly, Alcon from Molossia. This was the list of suitors.

Cleisthenes began by asking each in turn to name his country and parentage; then he kept them in his house for a year, to get to know them well, entering into conversation with them sometimes singly, sometimes all together, and testing each of them for his manly qualities and temper, education and manners. Those who were young he would take to the gymnasia - but the most important test of all was their behaviour at the dinner-table. All this went on throughout their stay in Sicyon, and all the time he entertained them handsomely.

For one reason or another it was the two Athenians who impressed Cleisthenes most favourably, and of the two Tisander's son Hippocleides came to be preferred, not only for his manly virtues but also because he was related some generations back to the family of Cypselus of Corinth.

At last the day came which had been fixed for the betrothal, and Cleisthenes had to declare his choice. He marked the day by the sacrifice of a hundred oxen, and then gave a great banquet, to which not only the suitors but everyone of note in Sicyon was invited. When dinner was over, the suitors began to compete with each other in music and in talking in company. In both these accomplishments it was Hippocleides who easily proved his superiority to the rest, until at last, as more and more wine was drunk, he asked the flute-player to play him a tune and began to dance to it. Now it may well be that he danced to his own satisfaction; Cleisthenes, however, who was watching the performance, began to have serious doubts about the whole business. Presently, after a brief pause, Hippocleides sent for a table; the table was brought, and Hippocleides, climbing on to it, danced first some Laconian dances, next some Attic ones, and ended by standing on his head and beating time with his legs in the air. The Laconian and Attic dances were bad enough; but Cleisthenes, though he already loathed the thought of having a son-in-law like that, nevertheless restrained himself and managed to avoid an outburst; but when he saw Hippocleides beating time with his legs, he could bear it no longer. 'Son of Tisander,' he cried, 'you have danced away your marriage.' 'Hippocleides doesn't care,' was the reply. Hence the common saying, 'Hippocleides doesn't care.'


I mean, wow. Hippocleides spends a year of his wife trying to win the hand of this girl and ends up getting drunk and pulling off some pretty crazy dance moves. The father-in-law is ashamed of son-in-law to be's dancing but manages to stomach it until Hippocleides flips upside down and starts kicking his legs in the air. His angry "you have danced away your marriage!" is such a hilarious line...but Hippocleides takes the cake by retorting (and reffering to himself in the third person) "Hippocleides doesn't care!"

He's like "Man! Don't bother Hippocleides with that marriage baloney! Can't you see that Hippocleides is getting FUNKY!?"

This was so crazy that it became a common saying in Ancient Greece, apparently. I can just see ancient greek people saying that...:

TEACHER: Do your homework! If you don't do your homework you'll end up stupid!

STUDENT: Hippocleides doesn't care!

Or....

WIFE: Husband, you must work and earn money! We are broke!

HUSBAND: Hippocleides doesn't care!



Anyway, there's your ancient history lesson for today. Hopefully I can post another, more spiritually minded blog in the near future. And remember if anyone hassles you, just tell them that Hippocleides Doesn't Care.

Right! So! Korea!

Right, So I'm In Korea

Ok, blog-readers. I've been in Korea for two weeks now and I haven't updated my blog yet. This is because I have not had regular internet access, as well as being exceedingly busy!

As you can see from the above photo, my job here is to be King. It is a hard job especially now with Koreans rioting about beef. BEEF.



These are the types of riot police I saw holding back the mob of angry beef eaters. The rioters had surrounded Seoul City hall and the police had in turn surrounded them with buses. I didn't take any pictures of my own, because what kind of person takes pictures of a RIOT? Actually, lots of my friends from orientation did as we marched through it on the way to Chongdong Theater to watch a bunch of Korean people play the drums REALLY HARD and dance around really impressively in traditional costumes.

Alright, so I'm not actually long lost Korean Royalty. But I AM an English (ESL) teacher here for the next two months, and I figure that is pretty much the same thing. Especially considering the Korean name some of the students here have given me is "Wong-Ja", meaning "Prince." I like it and hope none of my readers will assume it is because I look like a canine.

I teach two hours of adults in the morning, and three hours of children in the afternoon. Three hours of children in the afternoon is going to be interesting indeed. I like children but we're talking about a hundred different ones here.

In a week I will start teaching a Bible class in the evenings. I think I'll be doing one themed on the life of David. If any of my astute and good-looking readers would like to suggest some good resources I'm all ears.

I know essentially no Korean. I do know the words for "Hello" "Thank you" "Elephant", "Yes" "No" and of course "Prince" now. So if I'm not greeting and thanking and playing a game of 20 questions with a Royal Elephant I'm in trouble. Reading is worse because I can't read Korean letters. I've tried learning the alphabet but the sounds the letters represent are often hard for an english mind to grasp. So I now know what it's like to be an illiterate. Yay!

Well, that is all I will write right now. Next week I will be back with more information on the adventures of an Illiterate Korean Prince who can't find an elephant to talk to.

Eight Minutes In Serpukhov-15

Eight Minutes In Serpukhov-15

People have been running around on this planet for quite some time now. However, it has only been in the last sixty some odd years that we have had the ability to, quite easily now, destroy all life on it. Hooray for modern technology!

While most people are aware of the cold reality that we very well *could* kill everything that we consider life, most aren't aware just how close we've come at times to doing just that.

There are the well published incidents...The Cuban Missile Crisis being chief among them, where potential war between the nuclear powerhouses of America and the Soviet Union threatened the existence of developed nations around the world. That was a very public crisis solved by heads of state, with calculated political risks made over a span of days.

But then there are the incidents that slip under the News radar, the ones that fall into a file marked Top Secret that we never hear about. With the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991 came the declassification of many of its documents, one of which contains a story that I find quite thought provoking, and you should too. It is the story of how the fate of the world may have, for a few short minutes in a bunker outside Moscow, rested in the hands of a Russian scientist named Stanislav Petrov. It sounds like a James Bond plotline - but it was real.

It was 1983, and Cold War relations between the USA and the USSR were strained at best. Soviet Primier Yuri Andropov maintained an antagonistic relationship with President Reagan, and the atmosphere in the Kremlin was one of extreme paranoia. The relationship especially soured when on September 1st, 1983, the schizophrenic USSR shot down Korean Airlines Flight 007, which it thought was infringing on its airspace. 269 people died, evidencing the kind of hair trigger it took to awaken the wrath of the USSR. And then, three weeks later, on September 26th, the entire world came close to feeling that wrath.

In the control room of the Soviet Satellite Early Warning system, located in a place called Serpukhov-15, sat Lieutenant Colonel Stanislav Petrov, who was the officer on duty, at least for this evening. This was not his job - he was a scientist, not a supervisor, but the man who normally filled this role was out and Colonel Petrov was the substitute.

Any other night, this would not have been notable. But on that day, shortly after midnight Moscow time, the satellite caught something, and it caught something scary. According to the sensors, the United States had just launched an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile, a weapon containing far more power than the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki during WW2, straight at the Soviet Union. Then, four identical missiles appeared, all on their way towards Soviet cities.

Protocol demanded that Petrov immediately report this to his superiors. If this truly were a nuclear assault, every second mattered, and Petrov did not have time to analyze the computer data to determine if this were really an attack, or a computer error. But reporting that satellites had observed five American ICMs Russia bound could result in the USSR launching a full scale counterattack. This would assure that America would indeed launch their nuclear arsenal, population centers around the world would cease to exist, and billions would die.

It was not his place to judge the situation without proof either way, his orders were to report what the computers told him, to the same men who with only slight provocation weeks before made the decision to shoot down a harmless airliner full of civilians. But Petrov decided to take a risk, and in doing so may have saved all our lives.

“I gave the Americans the benefit of the doubt,” says Petrov. “By that time the Americans had not yet developed a national missile defense system — they still haven’t — so they knew that a nuclear attack on us was tantamount to the eradication of at least half of their population. I was convinced that the Americans were a militant nation, but not a suicidal one. I remember thinking, ‘That big an idiot has not been born yet, not even in the U.S.’ And then I grabbed the telephone and reported a false alarm to the SPRN command station.”

Petrov reported that the machines were in error. But Colonel Petrov did not know for certain this was a false alarm. He said, "I made a decision and that was it." It was only after about 15-20 agonizing minutes passed, waiting to detect if U.S. missiles were incoming, that Petrov's decision proved correct.

Regarding the Petrov incident, former Soviet KBG officer Oleg A. Gordievsky stated: "If the Soviet Union had overreacted, it could have gone very badly. If war had come, Soviet missiles would have destroyed Britain entirely, at least half of Germany and France, and America would have lost maybe 30 percent of its cities and infrastructure."

Things didn't go well for Petrov after the incident. His disobedience to protocol led to his career taking a massive hit. He now lives a lonely life on a small military stipend in Moscow. When asked about his actions that night, he is very humble, refusing to accept the honor that is due him.

We can look at stories like this and ponder how things could have gone much differently. There are other incidents we know about where machine failure came close to triggering a war, but none so dramatic as Petrov's. Of course, while Soviet documents have been declassified, not all of ours have-there are likely other such tales of terror in our own Cold War archives. The Cold War was a very dangerous time indeed, and even in 1983 the threat of World War III still loomed large.

We no longer worry about the idea of nuclear weapons raining down Armageddon across the world. For the time being at least, our enemies aren't capable of such things. But history and human nature tell us that eventually something will go awry and weapons humanity would like to forget we have will be utilized. It might take hundreds of years, but in the span of world history that is a short time indeed- especially when the radical changes of the last hundred are examined.

When we think about how close we may have come to untold disaster during the Petrov incident, it isn't hard to see a creator's hand at work. We could claim it was mere luck that caused the man who normally worked in Serpukhov-15 to fall ill or whatever and take the night off, leading to Petrov being at the right place at the right time. Or, we can acknowledge that the events of the world, however horrific they may be, are still moderated by a supernatural hand. The future will undoubtedly hold countless tragedies, but we can face them knowing that ultimately God is in control.

For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be. And unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved; but for the elect’s sake those days will be shortened. Matthew 24:21-22

If you'd like to learn more about the near-apocalypse of '83, you can read this article, which goes into far more detail than I did, or check out the Wikipedia page.

Also, you should take a few minutes to watch the trailer for a short documentary coming out shortly about Petrov.

A Conversation With Walid Ben

About a week ago, I was minding my own business, when my Skype rang. Someone named "Walid Ben" wanted to talk to me. I know a Ben, and thought it might be him, so I answered. Upon hearing a foreign accent I quickly hung up and thus began a rather bizarre exchange. My dialog is blue and his is red, with my comments in black. I think it is a little amusing, don't expect any deep message, just two people who can barely understand each other arguing religion and politics.

[5:37:05 PM] Edward says: who are you?
[5:37:51 PM] walid ben says: i am algerian
[5:38:06 PM] Edward says: ok
[5:39:07 PM] Edward says: why are you contacting me?
[5:39:15 PM] Edward says: I don't know anyone in algeria
[5:39:54 PM] walid ben says: why
[5:41:14 PM] walid ben says: call me please
[5:41:23 PM] Edward says: why?
[5:42:02 PM] walid ben says: help me to learn your language
[5:42:22 PM] Edward says: we can do that through this
[5:42:47 PM] Edward says: I'm not accepting calls from people I don't know
[5:43:43 PM] walid ben says: you are not a good men (ouch, burn!)
[5:43:55 PM] Edward says: it's "man"
[5:43:59 PM] Edward says: "men" is plural
[5:44:14 PM] Edward says: one male person is a "man"
[5:44:20 PM] Edward says: two male people are "men"
[5:44:47 PM] walid ben says: i thank you for this information
[5:44:53 PM] Edward says: anytime
[5:45:30 PM] Edward says: I am an English teacher
[5:45:56 PM] Edward says: so I'm pretty much used to this kind of stuff
[5:46:31 PM] walid ben says: je ne peux pas vous parler en englais
[5:46:42 PM] Edward says: I don't speak any French
[5:46:53 PM] Edward says: I only know English, German, and Greek
[5:47:14 PM] Edward says: and a little Klingon (if Walid can call me a "not good men", then I should be allowed to have a little fun)
[5:47:20 PM] walid ben says: you speak arabic
[5:47:25 PM] Edward says: ah, no
[5:47:34 PM] Edward says: that is a rather uncommon language in America
[5:47:51 PM] Edward says: I only know the very basics
[5:48:01 PM] Edward says: "al" is "the" and whatnot
[5:48:09 PM] walid ben says: why arabic is nice language
[5:48:26 PM] Edward says: It is also completely foreign to America
[5:48:51 PM] Edward says: Klingon is a nice language but I doubt many Algerians speak it
[5:49:03 PM] Edward says: as is Koine Greek
[5:49:52 PM] Edward says: are you Muslim?
[5:50:02 PM] walid ben says: ??? ?????? ???
[5:50:20 PM] walid ben says: yes
[5:50:22 PM] Edward says: I can't read that
[5:50:36 PM] Edward says: that's interesting, I just took a class about Islam
[5:50:59 PM] walid ben says: you can speak frensh
[5:51:34 PM] Edward says: Nein, aber ich kann Deutsch spreche
[5:52:04 PM] walid ben says: what is this
[5:52:07 PM] Edward says: German
[5:52:45 PM] walid ben says: are you speaking german
[5:52:59 PM] Edward says: yes, just like you are speaking arabic
[5:53:21 PM] walid ben says: and frensh
[5:53:59 PM] Edward says: joH'a' ghaH wIj DevwI'
jIH DIchDaq Hutlh pagh
ghaH chen jIH Qot bIng Daq SuD tI yotlh
ghaH Dev jIH retlh vIHHa' bIQmey
(incidently, this is Psalms 23 in Klingon that I just copy and pasted in)
[5:54:15 PM] Edward says: That is Klingon
[5:54:46 PM] Edward says: Languages are fun
[5:54:50 PM] walid ben says: you are loud in german (Walid can't tell the difference between German and Klingon)
[5:55:22 PM] Edward says: German is a great language
[5:55:34 PM] Edward says: Better when spoken loudly
[5:55:46 PM] walid ben says: speak me by frensh please (man, Walid is demanding!)
[5:55:54 PM] Edward says: I don't speak french
[5:56:06 PM] Edward says: I have friends who study french
[5:56:24 PM] Edward says: but I never had the desire
[5:56:49 PM] Edward says: Je ne parle pas français
[5:56:55 PM] walid ben says: you want to learn it
[5:57:08 PM] Edward says: traduit par le biais de Google
[5:57:17 PM] Edward says: pas vraiment
[5:57:40 PM] walid ben says: why
[5:57:46 PM] Edward says: Pas une langue que j'ai une grande utilité pour
[5:58:38 PM] Edward says: Je préfère apprendre le latin ou coréen
[5:58:42 PM] walid ben says: you like bush
[5:58:52 PM] Edward says: Bush is ok
[5:58:58 PM] Edward says: I voted for him
[5:59:03 PM] Edward says: he could do better
[5:59:28 PM] Edward says: but I would prefer him to the competition
[5:59:31 PM] walid ben says: il est criminel de guerre (means "he is a war criminal")
[5:59:51 PM] Edward says: I don't need a translator to know what that said
[6:00:16 PM] Edward says: Why do you believe him to be a criminal?
[6:00:33 PM] Edward says: Bush has done nothing to offend Algeria
[6:01:16 PM] walid ben says: irak is our frether
[6:01:36 PM] Edward says: Saudi Arabia colonized Algeria
[6:01:52 PM] walid ben says: no
[6:02:29 PM] Edward says: The Arabs brought Islam to the Persian empire
[6:02:37 PM] Edward says: the Persian Empire was Iraq
[6:03:31 PM] Edward says: I don't know which of these two brought Islam to Algeria
[6:03:45 PM] Edward says: but the progenitor was Mecca, not Baghdad
[6:04:02 PM] Edward says: in any case, it belonged to the Byzantines before that
[6:04:03 PM] walid ben says: iran is nucleare state you can't do anything it
[6:04:17 PM] Edward says: I'm scared
[6:04:24 PM] Edward says: I don't want Iran to nuke us!
[6:04:40 PM] Edward says: We don't have any way to retaliate!
[6:04:43 PM] Edward says: boohoo
[6:05:25 PM] Edward says: Besides, Iran is Shia (and I knew that Algeria is Sunni, so I was perplexed as to why he believed Iran to be their savior)
[6:05:43 PM] walid ben says: you want to visite algeria
[6:05:51 PM] Edward says: Not especially
[6:07:28 PM] walid ben says: je suis un ingénieur en chimie et vous (Walid had just informed me that he is a chemical engineer. )
[6:07:56 PM] Edward says: I study english and religion
[6:07:58 PM] Edward says: I am a teacher
[6:09:03 PM] walid ben says: tu veut ètre musliman
[6:09:22 PM] Edward says: can you say that in english?
[6:10:54 PM] walid ben says: you want to be a muslim
[6:11:00 PM] Edward says: no
[6:11:03 PM] Edward says: I am a Christian
[6:11:06 PM] walid ben says: why
[6:11:23 PM] Edward says: because I believe Jesus was the Son of God
[6:11:36 PM] Edward says: and I do not believe in Mohammud
[6:12:20 PM] Edward says: I have studyed the Quran
[6:12:33 PM] Edward says: It is a fascinating book
[6:12:48 PM] Edward says: but I do not believe it be the word of God
[6:13:18 PM] walid ben says: we are believing in moussa and ..... (I googled Moussa, apparently he's the secretary general of the league of Arab states...I haven't a clue what he meant by the ellipsis)
[6:14:47 PM] walid ben says: what is fascinating in frensh
[6:15:44 PM] Edward says: The french themselves are pretty fascinating
[6:17:29 PM] walid ben says: the quran is very a good book
[6:17:36 PM] Edward says: It is poetic
[6:17:40 PM] Edward says: I have read a lot of it
[6:18:02 PM] walid ben says: have you one
[6:18:08 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:18:14 PM] Edward says: and a book of Mormon
[6:18:19 PM] Edward says: and Hindu scriptures
[6:18:24 PM] Edward says: Like I said, I study religions
[6:18:35 PM] walid ben says: garde it (en garde!)
[6:19:02 PM] Edward says: I respect it because it is an important book to many people
[6:19:29 PM] Edward says: But there are parts I do not think a good person should follow
[6:20:05 PM] Edward says: I don't think a man should beat his wife under any circumstances

(I have indeed completed a course on Islam, and found some very disturbing things. The condonement of wife-beating as punishment for a disrespectful wife being chief among them)

(this is a real verse from the Quran: Men are the managers of the affairs of women for that God has preferred in bounty one of them over another, and for that they have expended of their property. Righteous women are therefore obedient, guarding the secret for God's guarding. And those you fear may be rebellious admonish; banish them to their couches, and beat them. If they then obey you, look not for any way against them; God is All high, All great. )

(even more disturbing are stories from the Hadith, or the "Life of Mohammad." such as this:
"A woman came to Muhammad and begged her to stop her husband from beating her. Her skin was bruised so badly that it was greener than the green veil she was wearing. Muhammad did not admonish her husband, but instead ordered her to return to him and submit to his sexual desires.")

(I'm quite happy that no one can accuse the head of my religion of being a wife-beating pedophile, but Walid changes the subject)


[6:20:34 PM] walid ben says: open your skype
[6:20:44 PM] Edward says: skype is open
[6:20:56 PM] Edward says: we're talking through it right now
[6:21:29 PM] walid ben says: skype is open just for messages
[6:21:41 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:21:49 PM] Edward says: It will stay that way ( I really don't want to talk to Walid)
[6:22:15 PM] Edward says: your english skills aren't speech ready yet anyway
[6:22:21 PM] walid ben says: i want to speak you
[6:22:23 PM] Edward says: better keep with the written
[6:24:22 PM] walid ben says: dans quelle willaya habitez-vous
[6:25:04 PM] Edward says: How do I live?
[6:25:12 PM] Edward says: I don't understand the question
[6:25:35 PM] walid ben says: translate it
[6:25:44 PM] Edward says: I did
[6:25:57 PM] Edward says: "willaya" isn't in google's dictionary
[6:26:30 PM] walid ben says: willaya = country
[6:26:54 PM] Edward says: I live in America
[6:27:03 PM] Edward says: I was born here
[6:27:37 PM] walid ben says: now have you interstood
[6:27:44 PM] Edward says: yay!
[6:27:54 PM] Edward says: I interstand!
[6:28:03 PM] Edward says: "interstand" isn't a word
[6:28:07 PM] Edward says: you need
[6:28:10 PM] Edward says: "understand"
[6:29:04 PM] walid ben says: this is not an grand error
[6:29:17 PM] Edward says: no
[6:29:25 PM] Edward says: but the average american would laugh at you
[6:30:16 PM] walid ben says: you like iran president (seriously, does Walid expect me to like him?)
[6:30:23 PM] Edward says: No
[6:30:31 PM] walid ben says: why
[6:30:33 PM] Edward says: I have nothing against Iran (I mean the Iranian people-their government is a tad whacked)
[6:30:41 PM] Edward says: but I am a friend of Israel
[6:31:21 PM] walid ben says: and algeria
[6:31:31 PM] Edward says: yeah, I have nothing against Algeria
[6:32:19 PM] walid ben says: sadam
[6:32:24 PM] Edward says: no
[6:33:24 PM] Edward says: he commited Genocide agaisnt the kurds
[6:34:24 PM] walid ben says: i have'nt understood anything
[6:34:28 PM] Edward says: sorry
[6:34:51 PM] Edward says: il a commis le génocide CONTRE Les Kurdes
[6:35:34 PM] Edward says: Il a été meurtrier de masse
[6:36:23 PM] walid ben says: you can to say it me in arabic
[6:36:46 PM] Edward says: I'm sorry
[6:36:52 PM] Edward says: Google can't do that
[6:37:03 PM] Edward says: ???? ?????? ???????
[6:37:06 PM] Edward says: I guess it can
[6:37:07 PM] walid ben says: always you are sorry
[6:37:16 PM] Edward says: ok
[6:37:23 PM] Edward says: I will be more rude in the future
[6:38:32 PM] walid ben says: have you friends in algeria
[6:38:36 PM] Edward says: no
[6:38:51 PM] Edward says: I have friends in Italy and Korea
[6:38:54 PM] Edward says: but not Algeria
[6:38:55 PM] walid ben says: tu ment ( I have no idea what this means)
[6:39:20 PM] Edward says: yes
[6:39:24 PM] walid ben says: i am your friend
[6:39:47 PM] Edward says: thank you
[6:40:12 PM] walid ben says: help you to learn arabic
[6:40:37 PM] Edward says: better start with the alphabet
[6:41:40 PM] walid ben says: this need of pronouncing
[6:42:03 PM] Edward says: I don't really need to learn Arabic right now
[6:42:43 PM] walid ben says: german
[6:42:59 PM] Edward says: I took a class in german, yes
[6:43:13 PM] Edward says: to better my understanding of English
[6:43:49 PM] walid ben says: yes
[6:45:37 PM] walid ben says: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb (I have no idea what this is all about...)
[6:45:50 PM] Edward says: (bow)
[6:46:00 PM] walid ben says: rtetyyurghghjghbcdr (Walid seems to have melted down)
[6:46:37 PM] Edward says: pretty much
[6:46:42 PM] Edward says: such wisdom
[6:46:51 PM] walid ben says: this is a confidential language
[6:46:59 PM] Edward says: really?
[6:47:05 PM] Edward says: Like hexadecimal?
[6:47:18 PM] Edward says: or Pig-Latin?
[6:47:36 PM] walid ben says: the second
[6:48:04 PM] Edward says: ok
[6:48:06 PM] Edward says: fun
[6:49:06 PM] Edward says: Well, Mr Walid, I am sorry to leave you
[6:49:12 PM] Edward says: but I must eat supper now
[6:49:16 PM] Edward says: good bye
[6:49:21 PM] Edward says: good luck learning english
[6:50:37 PM] walid ben says: I'm slyping good night

And thus concludes my conversation with Walid Ben. I don't have any great spiritual lessons for you right now, but promise to post a real devotional by the end of the week. My past few weeks were busy while I tried to get my Korean papers in order, but this week has pretty much nothing going on. So I'll get SOMETHING new posted....

Listen To My Heart, Yardstick

-
Again, a huge jump between updates! School has given me quite a lot to do. In about a month I'll be done though, so perhaps I'll be able to resume weekly updates when summer rolls around.

This time, I have something a little different. You get to watch someone else give the object lesson and the sermon. I will of course provide my share of comments for you to read afterwards
:)

This is a sermon from the Moody Science Institute, which used to (perhaps still does?) put out very thought provoking sermons based on science. My family has a set of tapes from them, all of which date back to the 1950's. This is one of those sermons, which I ripped myself with a TV-Card, so you'll have to put up with a little VHS residue. It's 26 minutes long, and it is definitely worth a watch!

So click the little button below and prepare to be amazed!

Listen to my heart..................Yaaaaaaaardstiiiick

Moody Science - Time and Eternity



My comments below, watch the video first!

















While I worked in the library at Southern, I would often give myself assignments to do during slow nights. One night, I decided I would learn to comprehend Time/Space relativity. Did I accomplish my task? NOT AT ALL. I spent two hours reading about how this works, and I could probably spend the rest of my life studying it and never get it. Einstein "discovered" it with his formula of E=Mc2, but I doubt he grasped it entirely either.

It's one of those incredible facts of science that give you a better understanding as to just how amazing and incomprehensible God really is.

Watching Dr. Moon's sermon definitely made me ponder my past a little. Once again, I am reminded just how important our time usage is. This video was made in 1955, and Dr. Moon is almost certainly dead. But go far enough out into space and he's busy making the video we just watched (at least from the perception of the far away viewer.)

And it made me realize again that we can't just discard the past because it exists only in our memories (if that.) What we did in the past will once again be put in front of us, and only an omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnitempus (I made a new word! from the Latin, meaning "all times") God can erase our sins from it.

And we can trust that he will do just that. So make the best use of your time while you have it, never taking for granted the sheer wonder of God's gift of forgiveness.

As far as the east is from the west,so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12

Fiction February #2 - Brandr eða leita lofa

The second entry for "Fiction February" is a piece crafted for creative writing about a year ago. Having read the Grœnlendinga Saga, I was inspired to write a piece of historical fiction using it as a background. I had a twenty page epic in mind and ended up writing only seven pages when the demands of vague historical accuracy became difficult to maintain. Mrs. Pyke also thought it absurd that 10th century Danes would speak Shakespearean English. So while it ends rather abruptly, it was certainly fun to write. Also, Mrs. Pyke said that the bard in the story "is certainly some ancestor of mine, for he shares my verbose style." As for the theme, it seemed humorous to send a Viking on a quest not for some random object, but for love instead. That quickly became a problem, as you can see...

Brandr eða leita lofa

(Brandr and the Quest for Love)

The smell of alcoholic beverages filled the air of the crowded, poorly lit mead hall. Arnfastr the Dane leaned over a kettle of mead, half-drunken and bored. He and his men had spent the entire day patching holes in their longboats preparing for the long voyage to England, and they were ready for entertainment. None was presenting itself, and they were about to start stabbing each other when the door to the mead house slowly slid open.

Cold air and ice flew in from the frigid Danish night, and a frost covered stranger wearing a feathered hat crept in. All eyes in the building glided onto him.

“Prithee, gentle Northman, might I seek refuge from the winter night within thy mead hall?” the man asked, an earnest look in his face.

Arnfastr merely looked puzzled, and stared at the feather in the stranger’s hat. The rest of the men began to murmur quietly.

“I am Jørge, of Dublin. I have just returned from faraway Ireland to bring a most fascinating thing to the land of Denmark. I am a bard, and I sing tales of extraordinary heroes, to help while away these cold winter nights” said the man, hoping to catch their attention.

“Sing us a tale, and if we like it, thou may stay.” replied Arnfastr, as his men began to applaud their good fortune.

The bard removed his hat and coat, pulled up a glass of mead, and began to sing:

In the days of King Forkbeard, 1000 AD

When men sailed through

The land where dragons be

A young man, Brandr the True

Embarked on a journey…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He knew this day would come, yet he had been dreading it. Ever since his eighteenth birthday, when he refused to join a raiding party destined for England, he had been unpopular amongst the clan. He knew they would ask again, and a second refusal would have dire consequences.

Brandr watched the Jarl approach, high atop a steed. The Jarl was clad in leather, with green designs painted on large shoulder pads. He had a long, blonde beard which was rather unkempt. Two Huskarls followed closely behind, their swords brandished. Brandr ran outside his house to meet them.

“Brandr, son of Magnus, I hear thou hast been courting mine daughter, Ingridr. I wouldst have none of it. Thou art not fit to be the son in law of a Jarl.” roared the Jarl through his beard.

“I wouldst be loyal and provide her every need!” answered Brandr.

“Fool! Thy name means “sword”, yet ye refuse to join our war parties. I offer one final chance to thee. Join our ranks, and I will give ye Ingridr’s hand in marriage.”

Brandr was an odd boy. He had no desire to help the King conquer England, he had heard reports that a new, uninhabited land, Green Land, had been discovered. Why did they need to conquer somebody else’s land? However, he did wish to marry Ingridr.

“My name means firewood, not sword.” replied Brandr. “But I will join thy ranks.”

And join, he did. He was given the armaments of a Viking Warrior, and set sail immediately towards England. There was a long sea journey, followed by a long campaign of pillaging and village razing. Brandr was an unorthodox Viking, and spared many victims.

The entire time, his thoughts were on Ingridr. He couldn’t wait to return home, to marry her. At last, his tour concluded and he returned to his village, to find that in his absence, Ingridr had married another.

Brandr was a now broken man. He could no longer live happily in that village, so he packed supplies, stole the Jarl’s horse, and fled north. He continued to flee north until forest turned to sea, and then he fled west until reaching a port. He considered fleeing back east again, but then a better idea came to him.

“Green Land,” he thought to himself. “I may flee to Green Land, verily.” Yes, Green Land, a land so Green, so temperate, that the man who discovered named it Green Land. It wasn’t like Denmark, land of frigid winters and colder women. Green Land was a fresh start, a new opportunity. He could find a lady, settle down, and live a life of seclusion there, far away from the cares of the world.

But first, he needed to find passage. He sold the horse to some Swedes who had just arrived in the country, for enough gold to purchase his passage to Green Land. He had to wait four months for the boat to be readied, but the time passed quickly as he dreamed of the pretty girls of Green Land. He often wondered why people laughed at him when he told them where he was going.

It was a long sea voyage from Denmark to Green Land, especially in a longboat. Brandr passed his time by growing an impressive beard.

At last, the Green Land coast appeared on the horizon. It was mid summer at the time, and Green Land was indeed Green. Brandr exited the boat, and began his quest for love.

It proved to be a very pathetic quest, as it quickly occurred to him that there were no single women in Green Land. Colonization had barely begun a decade prior, and single women could not afford nor did they desire to go to a land like Green Land. There was only one, an elderly woman who had no teeth…

“Thy song bores me, Bard. Perhaps thou mayest liven it up, or perhaps my men shall make ye eat thy feather!” yelled Arnfastr. The rest of the men in the mead hall began to look restless.

“I beg thy apologies” replied Jørge, a little nervous. “I was just reaching the exciting part.”

The old woman was actually a witch in disguise, and when Brandr refused to marry her, she called upon the powers of the pagan goddess Hel, who summoned a mighty dragon to attack Green Land. It was the Nidhogg, the most feared creature of all Norse mythology. Brandr was caught unarmed, and was forced to fist-fight it. The battle lasted for two months and six days, but at the end he was victorious.

When it was over, he was very tired and slept for a month. When he awoke, he found that Green Land had changed. It was now winter, and it was very cold. He realized that not only were there no girls in Greenland, there was also very little green.

Distraught, he began to inquire as to why a land that was arctic for most of the year would be called Green Land. He was sent to see a man named Leifr, who told him of how his father, Eiríkr, had discovered a giant block of ice floating in the ocean. Eiríkr claimed it in the name of the Vikings, and in order to attract settlers he had named it “Green Land.”

Leifr was very apologetic about the whole thing, having recently converted to a strange religion called Christianity. He didn’t think that his god would approve of such false advertising, and wanted to make up for his father’s deception. Leifr was an explorer himself, and offered Brandr a chance to join in his expedition. He accepted, and within six hard, cold months, Brandr was back at sea, headed west.

What was west of Greenland? Nobody knew. A man named Bjarni had told Leifr that a large, forested land possibly existed there, but he had no proof.

Brandr was becoming an excellent rower, and his beard was easily the most impressive out the whole crew. He was still an unhappy man, though. He didn’t care what was west of Greenland, as long there were ladies there.

Soon, they encountered many long, barren, rocky islands. Leifr was excited about this, as it seemed to confirm the rumors of a new land further west. He called the place “Land of The Flat Stones,” and pushed the crew on.

A week later, a strange, wooded coast appeared on the horizon. The men sailed along the enormous shore line, following it. There were many, many trees there, and Leifr, who always knew an apt name when he saw one, called it “Wood Land.”

As they sailed along the shore, Brandr realized that he had been away from Ingridr and his homeland for more than a year. Everyone was excited to find this new, bountiful place, but the social opportunities seemed very scarce here. He wondered if people lived here at all.

Finally, Leifr ordered the boat ashore. It was the middle of October now, and the men had no desire to continue sailing into the winter months. They decided to spend the winter there, in the unknown land.

The men spent the first month ashore exploring. It was a temperate region, full of open fields, forests, and meadows. Leifr named it “Meadow Land,” and soon they were constructing wooden shacks to live in.

There were ample resources to be found here, abundant salmon, wild fruit, and green grass even through the winter. It was a far better place than Green Land.

But Brandr still could not be happy. The life of an explorer was empty to him. Many of the men had wives back home, waiting for them. Brandr had no one.

Still, Brandr was stuck in Meadow Land until the rest of the men decided to leave. Finally, spring rolled around, and the crew began to get homesick. Leifr decided to sail back to Green Land, to tell of this new discovery. The men repaired the boat, and soon Brandr was at sea again.

Brandr hated the water. He liked forests. He wondered if his quest would ever end. He wondered if he should return to Denmark.

“But the night turns to day, fellow Norseman, and I grow weary of the song.” said the Bard, yawning a little. Some of the men were asleep, some were too drunk to care, but some were seated in anticipation.

“Did he slay another dragon?” asked one, who obviously had enjoyed that part of the story.

“Prithee, tell me, did he ever find what he was looking for?” asked Arnfastr.

“That is a song for another night. I thank ye all, kind Norsemen, for the shelter of thy mead hall. I will go shortly, but I, Jørge Brandrsen, vow to return to finish my tale, verily.” answered the bard, who then fell asleep.

Fiction February #1- Weeoniweekeenee Blues

After a long silence, I have decided it is time to resume updates. I have some creative writing pieces I haven't shared yet, but they are slightly different than the previous fare. I prefer to write non-fiction personal narratives about me being stupid. However, in the past I have also at times delved into the realm of fiction. I'm afraid I'm a bit less "Uncle Arthur" at times with my earlier pieces, and this piece predates everything you've seen up till now. I wrote this as a Sophomore in high school. I would have been not quite 16 at the time.

It was a typical English class writing assignment that ended up bringing me fame and infamy. I submitted it to a Creative Writing contest from La Sierra University, and to my surprise, I won First Place. The prize was $100 dollars, but I couldn't claim it because I was a racist. Apparently, after the judges presented their chosen entry to the school board, the board screamed "We can't reward this boy! He used the very derogatory word "Indian" to describe someone of the Native American persuasion! Oh well, easy come, easy go. It's been so long since I wrote it that I have a hard time feeling like it's actually mine, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Some parts I am quite proud of, and other times it's like WHAT WAS I THINKING!?

It is the first thing I ever wrote I'll actually claim as mine though, so it's special to me. The very first thing was about an Archaeologist creatively named Edward and his retarded assistant named Achoo who went around the world finding artifacts together. There were about five two page chapters that are safely buried in my 4th grade notebooks, hopefully never to see the light of the internet.

Anyway, here's the "racist" story. As usual, blogspot wreaks havoc with the formatting....

Weeoniweekeenee Blues

My name is Travis Henderson. I work as a sheriff for the government. It can be emotional work, sometimes requiring me to evict people from their property. During the summer of 1924 I was sent to small town in Kansas, to help plot out some new park land. Most of the evictions were standard fare, until the local deputy pointed me towards a dwelling which was indistinguishable from the great amounts of plant life which had found a home there. The wacky kind of look on the deputy's face as he sent me into "Crazy Old Man Tanner’s" house didn’t seem like a good sign.

I’d dealt with difficult evictees before; this couldn’t be much worse then the Howell eviction, and certainly no worse than the Drysdale eviction. I felt pretty confidant in my abilities, and went towards the Tanner house with confidence.

After much scrutiny, I managed to find what appeared to be the door. No sooner had I begun knocking, then I was greeted by a raspy, loud voice.

"Who’s rattin’ on me door?

"Sheriff Henderson", I replied.

"Law enforcement! Well how ye doin?" said the voice behind the door, which then opened with a surprising amount of force.

Before me stood a tall, elderly man wearing little more then overalls.

"Come in! Come in!, I sure ain’t never had an officer of the law show up at me door before!"

I was then grabbed, and pulled indoors (although indoors was little different than outdoors). "I’ll sit you here in me best chair an’ we can talk! Name’s Jake Tanner."

Attempts at reason proved ineffective. "Mr. Tanner, I have something I need to discuss with you, so if you would---" I was interrupted.

"I was a rancher ‘round here say... forty-five year’ago".

"That’s good sir. Now-"

"I had nearly... twelve cows" interrupted Tanner.

Realizing that I was not going to get anywhere with this, I decided to allow him to finish introducing himself.

"Near...Say...1867 was it? Ner, mighta been round ‘77. These fellows decided ta build a railroad ‘cross the state. Now this wes’ fine en’dandy’ cept they didn’t have enough cash ta’ finish building that sucker."

"Couldn’t they take out a loan?’ I meekly responded

"Maybe they shoulda‘, but they durn’t."

"Durn’t?" said I, questioning his grammar.

"Durn’t."

"Sir, may ask how this relates to today?" My request fell on deaf ears.

"Now they got ‘round halfway done when they quit, and to make back some of ‘dare losses they ripped up all the iron they laid down an’sold it. So what you got was this line o’ripped up ground an this tall iron pole which was gonna do somethin’ but I never found out an’ I didn’t care’ cause it durn’t matter"

While I was trying to digest this convoluted information, Tanner pulled out an apple and began to chew between words.

"Now when you got this big metal pole stickin’ out in a plain, it’d look kinda odd eh?

I agreed.

"There was’ this small Indian tribe, you see, an-"

It was my turn to interrupt. "Sir, I’m not here to discuss..." I had meant to say "Indians", but I didn’t finish because he kept right on talking.

"-and they were sorta like outcasts from normal Indians, ya see, ‘cause their name was Weeoniweekeenee which meant somethin’ in some Indian lang-oo-age. Not sure which lang-oo-age or’ which tribe named em’ but their name translates to...er..."

He had paused. Now was my chance! "There is going to be some new park land here and..."

"Good! Good!" he burst out. "Now, their name meant ‘They who are not so bright.’ an’ they was right named too. It was sorta like an Indian funny farm, only no white coated boys!.

This amused Tanner because he laughed for a good thirty seconds or so, spitting out what little apple was left in his mouth. After calming down, he went back into his odd narrative.

"There was only ‘round a dozen Weeoniweekeenee, an’ their leader’s name was "Great Chief Buffalo Biscuits" which was a odd name even fer an Indian." Anyways, this chief was out runnin’ around through the area the other Indians gave ‘im. If I can member right, it was round a dozen acres, an’ wouldn’t ya know it? That metal pole them railroad fellows left behind happened to right smack in the middle!"

He then handed me an apple, which I accepted gratefully. I didn’t figure on being able to leave here anytime soon anyway.

"Well, if you was a half-crazy Indian, an’ you never seen a metal pole like that before, an you didn’t have nuthin’ to do, what would you do?"

He must not have expected me to answer because he did not stop.

"He wandered right up to it an just sorta stared. Don’t know how long he stared but it musta been awhile. Anyways, thats how I found ‘im. Standing there lookin’ at that pole. I walked over an’ spoke what little Indian I knew. He asked what that pole was an’ I tol‘im. You know what I said it was?

Another question I wasn’t supposed to answer.

"I tol’im it was a sorta like a spirit stick, you know like a divining rod? I tol’im that if he leaned up ‘gainst it and just put is’ear to it the Great Spirit would talk to’im an’ he would be like a prophet."

He laughed again, not quite as long, but since he wasn’t eating apple this time it wasn’t as painful.

"Would ya’ believe he took my word for it? He parked ‘imself right gainst it en’never left ‘cept once a week to relieve im’self.

"But how did he survive? Who fed him?" I asked, surprised I had got some words in, and even more surprised that I cared.

"His fellow Weeoniweekeenee brought ‘im his vittles, en’ ‘ol Buffalo Biscuits just et it up, right there. You know what’s even funnier? That pole was holler, en when the wind blew, it kinda made a whislin’ noise. Mister Biscuits knew this was the great spirit talkin’ to ‘im."

"Did it ever tell him anything?" I asked, hoping he would finish up and allow me to get to business.

"It sure did, that ol’ chief interpreted many words of wisdom from that ol’pole. It tol’im such wise things as " Saddle Green Happy." en’ "Fuzzy Sitting Beef".

This was followed by such a boisterous explosion of laughter and knee slapping that a light sprinkle of dust fell from the ceiling into my eyes.

"He’s still there, he is! If you go out past Johnson Ridge an’ walk past toad hill he’ll be right there! Ask ‘im if the spirit’s talkin today!"

As he was saying this, my patience left me. The park would just have to wait until Mr. Tanner passed on, or make a monument out of him or something. I picked up my hat and as I made my way towards the door, he called after me.

"Wait! I’ve got another story ‘bout a bear, a bandit, and a pair of stilts!

"Another time" I replied.

"Another time" He replied, in a voice marked by loneliness.